I found this in the drafts...guess I lost track of it.

Karey White has written some novels and a couple of novellas. I have followed her work faithfully. She writes romances. I escape in romances. Her latest accomplishment is the completion of a three book series. Because I like neat, tidy packages, I was somewhat distraught when I completed the first one, The Husbandmaker- the girl didn't get the boy!! I have known Karey for over thirty years, so I lamented to her (do I say it that way?) over my irritation. She assured me that there were two more books on the way. I read each book on my Kindle the very day it came out. So you can imagine my joy when the third book, The WifeMaker came out on Valentine's Day. Like others, I read it in one sitting. It's a romance, so I won't be spoiling anything when I tell you I was quite satisfied when the boy got the girl. Sigh.
As I considered the romances I like, in novels and movies, I have come to some conclusions. These are my observations and opinions on the subject of romantic stories.

1) Romantic novels would be nothing without pride. Unrelenting, "I'm right", "I won't back down" stubbornness, "cut my nose off to spite my face" pride. And fear. Afraid to feel. Afraid to hurt "again". These are the basis of the conflict that the couple has to overcome to discover their feelings find their true love.
These are truly human emotions. We deal with fear and pride at different levels and in a variety of individual expressions. In my experience, these deeply ingrained attitudes take more than one decision to get over; rather, it takes day in-day out effort to overcome the habits. And then we find another level and expression of pride/fear to face and deal with. That is reality. Funny, I would chose romance to escape, right back to pride and fear. I guess it just seems so much easier in fiction.

2) My particular favorites storylines are boy desparately loves girl, conflict, frustration, girl gets over herself and realizes who has always been there for her-Sweet Home Alabama, The WifeMaker, 28 Dresses, Gone With the Wind, and the like.

I smirk as I type this. In real life, I don't know that it always works out so well. Sometimes the other just moves on. I did. I never pined for anyone that let me go. And once I decided a relationship was over, I never looked back.

Grief...The Price of Love

I got up this morning earlier than I have in what seems like a very long time. I walked at the park with Ben and Katy. Tears came to my eyes for a few moments and Ben held me. I miss Tad.

I thought about the equinox. A shift in seasons. It was a little chilly to me at the park. I thought today was the first day, because of last night's storm. Burton informed me that morning temps have been this pleasant for a couple of weeks now. The calendar says autumn has begun. For me that means pleasant mornings and hot days.

Equinox-balance between day/night hours. My world has been upended. Lost and wandering with my time. When I don't have to be at school, I have always struggled with a schedule. If I can't fulfill my duties and am not at school, what do I do with myself? "Take this time to grieve" they say. I don't even know what that means to me. I don't know how that would look.

I know that I have struggled to even feel anything. I feel frustration at the little annoyances and inconveniences. Does that count? My tears are that I don't get my way. I haven't sat and sobbed over my losses very often. Yet, I have been teary-eyed this morning.

And then I really saw the date.

I last saw Miles, 2 months ago. Did my heart know? How can I miss this son so much when I didn't communicate but 4-6 (brief) times in a year, aside from the yearly (day) visit when they moved to San Marcos? I do. There was so much hope in my heart when I left Texas 2 months ago, that our relationship was improving.

Reading the words of Faye and Carter Mayberry​ help me so much! I found this on their blog today. I have been reading and catching up by perusing from the beginning to recent posts. I am taking my time and not doing it all at once. 

I had determined some strategies to accomplish the little tasks and big projects around the house. Those things that as I left Texas, I thought to do to bring calm, order and peace to my physical surroundings. The clearing of the clutter in my home and mind as a way to process and get rid of the baggage- that which no longer serves. Today's tears have eased for now and I am gladdened that I feel empowered to do the one tedious, one procrastinated and one fun chores today.